The Diary Of Victoria
by zoeybird101
Summary: Vic is you average girl except shes the captin of every team,boys love her and girls want to be her.She has the perfect life on the outside.But on the inside its hell.She hates her life so much she takes it.Everyone wonder why? This is her story plz R&R:
1. Intro

**The Diary Of Victoria**

**My name is Victoria Boman and this is my story. **

I was fourteen when it happened and sixteen when I died. I know that many people wondered what happened to me. Some thought I did what I did because of stress, while others thought it was because I had just gone crazy, but I bet they would all love to know that they were right, or better yet know what really made me do what I did. They wanted to know what happened on that warm December night. The night that was my sixteenth birthday. The night that I just couldn't take it anymore. The night that my head was throbbing and I could not think of anything except for

**D E A T H**

That December night I pulled the trigger and everything was perfect. It was peaceful. Everything was blank and empty. It was all forgotten once it was over. What happened to me was forgotten. My awards, legacy, hopes, dreams and my life were also forgotten. I could truly become a nobody now. Left alone and forgotten.

_**Or so I thought.**_

**My name is Victoria Boman and this is my story.**

**Hey guys this is a book I have been working on for some times now. I wanted to share this bit with you guys to know what you thought. This is a book that I have written that is extremely close to my heart. It is not what I normally write about but I love it so what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 1

**For thus who are not dead are dying. -Juanita Kay**

**For thus who are not dead are dying. Because life is only lived to become death and Death is only accoured for life to be reborn – Juanita Kay**

**Victoria POV.**

Its the first day of second semester. I was a student at Granite High School. I was a ninth grader walking the crowded hallway by myself. I felt everyone's eyes on me as it I was there favorite show on television and the name of that show was _**'What crazy thing would Victoria do next'**_. All of the different looks on the different faces made me feel awkward. All there piercing eyes following, watching and learning my every move. Its like there trying to see into my soul or mind to find all of my secrets that I have hidden so well. So well that even I forget that I have secrets. I made it out of the crowd in tact. I opened my locker 16-45-6. I grabbed my science textbook, pencil case and English binder. "Hey Vic." I looked over my shoulder and Sara was waving at me.

"Hey." I smiled at her.

"Ready to go to science?" She asked.

"Yes." I shut my locker and we walked up the stairs to the forth floor.

"Can you believe it Vic only one more semester before a summer filled with fun, romance and endless parties." She shrieked. I gave her an impish smile but she just sighed. "Vic its a new semester. We all get fresh starts. Your dad wouldn't want you to be sad forever. So what happened in the past Vic just leave it in the past." Sara said. Maybe Sara was right. Maybe it was time to put everything in the past. I mean I deserved to be happy. I deserved to live a life with out regret. I deserved to start high school like any other normal person and that's what I am going to do. From this point on Victoria Jamie Boman will live the life that she was meant to live. A life with total bliss, happiness and no pain. A life that is perfect. I vowed to myself. "Do you see room 430?" Sara asked me. I looked up at the doors.

"Yeah its right here actually." I giggled because we were standing right in front of our class.

"Nervous?" Sara asked me.

"Please were cheerleaders we don't get nervous." I said and walked into the classroom.

"But your also a gymnast, softball player, track runner, and a soccer player." Sara said.

"Um your a softball player, track runner and soccer player to S." I said and she smiled. We took a seat at the back of the class. Our teacher was Mr. Fockler.

"Are you going to be at school in the afternoon?" Sara asked me.

"No." I said.

"Gymnastics?" She asked and I just nodded.

"What class do you have now?" Sara asked me when we were out of the science room.

"English." I said and she nodded. She went down the blue stairs since she was going to gym and I went down the orange one since I had a portable. My teacher was Miss. Handscomb. I sat beside Kim a girl who was on my cheer squad and went to my elementary school so we were friends. Our homework was to write a page about who we were and what we like to do in life. I couldn't focus on what I had to write because what Sara had said about my dad made me think back to the night he passed away on his birthday.

_*************************************FLASHBACK*****************************************_

"_Vic do you have your dads birthday gift?" My mom called up the stairs to me. I grabbed the nicely wrapped blue box on my dresser. I ran down the stairs._

"_Right here mom." _

"_Good because we need to leave. Your father said he was on his way to the restaurant." I tossed my mom her car keys. _

"_Do you think that he'll like the gift?" I asked when we were almost at the restaurant._

"_He'll love it Vic." My mom smiled at me. She was right because I was a daddy's girl and anything that I had ever given him he loved and kept. We stopped at the light before the turn into the parking lot. _

"_Mom look its dad." I pointed out. My dad was crossing the street. He still had on his gray suit that he wore to work that morning. My mom honked the horn. My dad turned around. When he saw that it was us he turned around and waved to us at the same time a car was speeding through the light. "DADDY!" I shirked. I could tell that he heard me so he turned around and he was stuck by the speeding car. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Daddy." I cried. I got out of the car and ran over to where his body was lying. I bent down over his body and sobbed. "Daddy." I cried. _

"_Vic get back." My mom said._

"_No." I yelled at her. I felt around looking for his pulse but there was none. "Dad wake up." I called but I knew that he was dead. "Daddy?" I heard the sirens in the background. _

"_Ma'am your going to need to back up." I looked up and there was a women who had on an EMS jacket. I looked from her back to my dead father. I felt the shook that we had just spoken on the phone and he told me that he would see me at his birthday dinner and now he was dead. I kissed his head genteelly. _

"_Bye daddy." I got up and the lady checked his pulse even though she knew as much as the rest of us that he was dead and there was no saving him. I walked and stood beside my mom. _

"_You look like a raccoon." She whispered under her breath to me. I whipped my hand along my face and she was right my makeup was ruined but I didn't care. _

"_Mom what are we going to do?" I asked her._

"_I don't know what your going to do Vic." She turned to me. She wasn't even crying. Her eyes were filled with hate. _

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean you the reason your father is dead Victoria. Can't you see. You had to call to him. You distracted him so he couldn't see the speeding car come at him." I shook my head._

"_No. I didn't do this." I cried. _

"_You did Victoria. This is all your fault." She looked away from me. "I will never forgive you for this Victoria." I watched as the EMS people put my father onto the stretcher and wheeled him away._

_***************************END OF FLASHBACK****************************************_

"Vic you okay?" I looked over at Kim. She looked really worried.

"Yeah." I lied.

"Your crying." She pointed out. I whipped my face. I smiled at her. "Thinking about your dad?" She asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. I was thinking about him and about how I killed him. The rest of the class I tried not to cry and I tried to look happy even though I was dying on the inside. When the bell finally rung I went over to the Miss. Handscomb and explained to her why I would be absent so much. "Good luck at practice Vic." Kim said as we walked into the parking lot.

"Thanks. I'll call you later." I said as I got into my mothers car.

"Your late." She said as we drove down the road.

"I know I'm sorry I had to explain to my English teacher why I would be away so much. " I said honestly.

"Whatever." My mom said. "Do not make excuses we will talk about this at home." She said. I jumped out of the car and walked into the training gym. Paul my coach was there waiting for me. I took off my gym sweater and my button up track pants because I had my leo underneath.

"Uneven bars." Paul said. I nodded. I always warmed up on the uneven bars. We did one hour of uneven, two hours of floor, one hour of beam and vault before we called it a day. "Good job kiddo." Paul said to me when my mom came over to us.

"Thanks." I said taking a sip of my water.

"She could of done better. I mean it was a little out of place and unorganized." My mom criticized me.

"She did just fine." Paul said. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said. I nodded. I grabbed my gym bag and we left the building. As soon as we got into the car my mom started with me.

"You could have been tighter on landing the moves." She said. "I noticed that your double back flip was very sloppy." She said. This is the way it was everyday after gymnastics or any sort of practice I had. She would always tell me what I did wrong and never what I actually did right. "Victoria are you listening to me?" My mother asked. I looked at her.

"Yes mom." I said calmly.

"Liar." She reached her hand out and slapped me across my face. I held my cheek. "Oh don't act like it hurt." She said.

"But it did." I felt tears swell up in my eyes.

"Don't you dare cry now." She said. I couldn't help it the tears pooled out of my eyes. She reached out and hit me in the face when we parked the car in the driveway. "Now go up to your room." She said. I ran out of the car leaving nothing behind and ran up the stairs to me room. I put my bag away neatly before going into my bathroom. I checked my eye and I had a swollen black eye. My lip was bleeding, and my teeth felt weird. I washed off my face. I reached into the cabinet and grabbed a razor blade. I set it down onto the counter and rolled up my sleeves. Up the river or down the stream? I asked myself. I slashed my skin all the way along my left arm and half way up my right arm. I also did a cut on my stomach so I could remember because the ones on my arms would fade away in time like they always had. I undressed and got into the shower so I could wash away all of the blood. The water was burning hot but I left it there. I stood and let the hard water droplets pound onto my tanned skin. When I got out of the shower an hour later my phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Vic." It was Sara.

"Oh Hey S." I said.

"I have a friend who wants to meet you." She said sounding excited. I couldn't help but feel that excitement to because with Sara you always felt happy whenever she was.

"Oh ya whats his name S?"

"Sean." She said. "So can we come over?" I looked in the mirror and my face was so bruised up and my arms badly cut this time.

"Um actually I don't think that would be a good idea." I said honestly.

"Vic are you okay?"

"Yes." I said even though I wasn't okay.

"Then I guess I will see you at school then." Sara said.

"No I have gymnastics all day tomorrow." I said.

"Oh okay." I could hear Sara's voice sound a little bummed.

"Why don't you two come over tomorrow after school?" I said.

"Okay." Sara perked back up.

"See you then." I said then hung up the phone.

"Who was that Victoria." Crap! I swore in my head. My dad was home. Well my step dad was home.

"Sara." I called. I could hear his footsteps getting closer and closer to my bathroom door. No! I yelled in my head. The doorknob turned and my step father walked into the bathroom while I was naked.

"Hey sweetheart." He said. I could smell the alcohol on his breathe. He began to rub my arm.

"Please don't." I said quietly.

"Shh baby girl. I won't do nothing you haven't gotten before." He said. As he began to kiss my neck and all over my body. I heard the buckle of his pants loosen.

"Oh PLEASE!" I yelled before he covered my mouth. 'Help me!' was all I could think. An hour later he got his naked body off of me.

"Same time tomorrow Vic or maybe even later." He smiled at me. As soon as he left the bathroom I got dressed and locked myself in my room. I pulled the covers over my head, closed my eyes shut tight and wished to be somewhere else.

**Okay guys what did you think? What should I change or make better?**

**I wanted to leave you with an update before I leave for two whole week. While I am gone I promise to write in my notebooks so many new chapters for you all.**

**Please review.**

**Love,**

**Lat :)**


	3. AN

Hey guys. I'm not going to update for a little while because im not feeling to well or in the mood to write. tomorow is my birthday and my gpas in the hospital not doing so well so when theres less stuff on my mind i will try and update for you guys but this is the last thing on my mind right now. Im so sorry.

-Lat


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